How to not let others limit your potential

Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s been long gone those days; those gloomy days where I questioned myself can I do this? Will it work? The future was uncertain. I traveled back and forth between home and institute. My friends were already settled in their own field. I had dropped one year. I was working hard. But only that wouldn’t guarantee whether or not I could get admitted to the university. My friends that I made in the institute could feel each other’s pain. Despite that I felt that if I worked hard I could still make some difference. Whether or not I would get accepted, I didn’t want to give up easily without trying. I had some hope and I kept going. I would get sick in between too but I could see that glimmering hope. I used to hear things like “You are doing this much but it isn’t sure that it will work so why try this hard? I don’t think you will make it even if you try hard. There is no guarantee. I don’t think you will make it.” Those words hurt me so much then. It was indeed true there was no guarantee. It was okay they didn't know and understand my pain. But I knew something within me. A part of me didn’t believe them entirely. I didn't want to quit before trying. I was disheartened nevertheless I kept going. I focused on what I could do instead of what wasn’t in my hands. I made plans and kept up with my plan, worked hard and here I am writing to you. It is my 4^th year in Medical school. I love being here. I love reading medical books. It reminds me why I started though it is hard to keep up at times. I did this for myself. Not for anyone. Despite years gone, I do struggle time and again by people’s opinions. Especially writing blog, it is very rewarding to get your positive feedback but I am well aware some people wouldn’t like it. It’s okay. I can make mistakes while writing. I can correct those mistakes however, I can’t make them like me. I can’t change that and I wouldn’t want to too. That’s how life is. It may be personality difference, opinions difference or even due to my own past mistakes or maybe any reasons. But I do want to keep writing it and I will share with you too how to not let others' opinions limit your potential.

Throughout reading many wise people’s opinions, I understood one main thing in common that during your last days as people look back at your life, they will remember how you treated them, what difference you added in their life, to community, to world. They will never say you had sparkling shoes, big house, and designer bag. So life is to be planned in such a way that even if we die we could say we lived fully. We all are born with a purpose in life no matter how society treated us inferiorly to believe we don’t have any. I strongly believe we all have a purpose in life. So, no matter what others tell us, we can pursue our own purpose. We deserve love. We have our own worth. And it is our life we can make it how we wanted to; we can live our life the way we want to. It is tempting to please everyone but we can’t because despite giving our best efforts people have their predisposed opinions that could still affect how they will perceive us. Our loved ones love us enough to guide us what they believe will be good. But not always it resonates with what we aspire. It is therefore important to identify what our values are, what keeps us alive, what we value as success. I have also learnt that we are to define success by ourselves instead of others' versions. Our loved ones will also later accept if this is what keeps us happy. It is not a bad thing to keep bettering yourself. You have got this one life and that too very short. Let's live on our terms instead of always relying on others' validations.

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.-Lao Tzu

So it is better to pause and ask ourselves what value we have. It's important to learn and have ideas that will guide us towards making decisions and making success. Choose what fits your definition.

And we change through time. We may not like what we used to be. It’s okay to change ourselves too and if people question us then we can say it is for our betterment, doing in what is best for us and for others too.

It doesn’t mean to discard all criticisms and feedback. They enable us to know our shortcomings and focus on them so next time we won’t repeat them. Of Course we all make mistakes; we can take constructive criticisms and work on bettering ourselves. And it is also up to us to decide what criticisms we are going to tolerate and what not to. They aren’t facts. They are just opinions. It also says about person who is giving it. As much as there are so many people who love me, some people won’t like me ever and it’s okay. I will wish best of them even from distance. I still have people who love me very much. I can correct my mistakes but I can’t keep hurting myself for others ' opinions for the sake of my loved ones too. I heartily accept I can still make mistakes and look up to correcting them and learning from them. Much of the time it also depends on person who is giving you opinions. Some may care for us genuinely. Some may be hurting inside themselves. Wish healing for them and move on with your life.

I have really loved writing since I was young and having spent so much time reading, learning, facing and feeling I want to share what helped me through writing too. It is a very rewarding feeling for me. I wouldn’t regret later in my life that I wrote it. I will feel proud of myself because despite having my own fair shares of insecurities, I kept going and maybe in between inspired others to keep going. I am very happy to pursue my dreams. I keep reading, learning too throughout this process. I keep editing the blogs too to add new information and correct mistakes. It is to do what you love doing, what it is better for your both short and long terms. Criticism will come and go. I am doing this for myself other than validations. It’s okay if I don’t fit in other people's definitions. I am living mine. I encourage you to live yours. Design your life on your terms.

And if we are held back by past mistakes, I will share mine too. I have made countless mistakes. I couldn't stick by what I had planned. People have hurt me and I also have hurt people. I felt like stuck. I couldn't get past those mistakes. I felt I was in a rut. And the very fact causes me so much guilt. I couldn’t function properly day to day then. I read so many books. Through those mistakes, I learnt. It gave me courage to open blogs to share my own overcoming. I realized if I keep on punishing myself due to mistake, I would let that mistake take all opportunity I could do better. I shouldn’t let that mistake define me. Mistakes are learning opportunities. It just reminds me that I do have flaws too. I forgive myself for not knowing how to properly deal with it. I forgive people too who had hurt me very much. After all, we all do make mistakes. I don't want to carry this grudge with me all my life. Letting it go release all the energy I had put in holding it and instead I will use this energy to create this life that I love. I wrote apology letters to myself, to others, even if I couldn't give at least for myself. Because I can’t keep hurting myself if I really want to make change and correct my mistakes. I choose to forgive them, forgive myself, learn why I messed up and why I wouldn’t do that again and keep going. I choose to make a difference in my life and I will keep going head on. And yes, you can do same to you. No matter how bad your circumstances were, you can still create a beautiful ending. I will be rooting for you. Keep shining, my friend.

Doing tasks doesn’t mean you will never make mistakes. It is to own them, correct them and keep going. It is not to be afraid when people point out. It isn't to not own our mistakes and not correct them. It is however not to let them keep defining us and holding us back. It is not to take every criticism personally. It is to understand we cannot please everyone. It is to keep doing what is best for us despite criticism. It is to work hard to give our best. It is to keep going despite failures. It is to keep sharpening our skills and bettering ourselves. Others' opinions do not necessarily need to stop us from bettering ourselves. Let's shine in our own way, from whatever we have, doing best of ours potential. The incident I told you in the beginning wasn't a bad memory at all. It just reminds me sometime I have to trust myself; trust myself to work hard before anyone else trust me. It wasn't altogether gloomy days. I made very good friends during those days whom I still contact these days. It was a beautiful experience indeed. Everyone goes through a phase like that or even harder than that. I admire them. I was lucky too. I count my blessings. I take this opportunity to work even harder. I wrote this having faith in you too. I encourage you to have faith in yourself and in your potential. In the end, we all are subjected to being judged whether we work or not. If we are doing what we love and making a difference in someone’s life, that’s what matters in the long term. Keep going. When you look back, you will be happy you did it instead of regretting for not doing it.

I wish you all the best. I hope my article How to not let others limit your potential helps you. I would love to hear from you too. You can write feedback below. Thank you for taking time to read. I have written similar articles like How to be productive in quarantine and Try it . Feel free to go through them too. If you like the post, sharing the post will mean a lot to me. Thank you. Stay safe.