12 ways to stay calm no matter what

12 ways to stay calm no matter what

Humans are emotional beings and that’s the reason we can reflect, react and connect with each other making us special. We can never build robots as programmed as we are in emotions. Often, emotions can be overwhelming. But we can stay calm no matter what because most situations require us to keep calm no matter how challenging it is. Even though it can be tough not to listen to emotions, feeling controlled by them and not being able to manage them.Because we regret greatly if we just keep on acting on emotions.It also can transform to make our identity if we keep reacting to feelings alone. So, here are 12 ways to stay calm no matter what.

1.       Realizing your emotions

Realizing your emotions is the first step when you start to get overwhelmed. Your mind may be feeling cluttered. Your heart may be feeling heavy. You could sense your heart beating faster, your breathing getting shallower. Your mind feels so occupied. You could feel the heat. You could feel the irritation.

Your body could be giving you signs. Feel it. Feel it fully. Then, relax and look for reasons why it is making you feel such a way. There is often always a cause. Finding the cause can be a solution itself sometimes. If not, it’s okay too. It might be confusing too. So take your time and relax. Sometimes, feeling emotions is a solution itself even without reacting to them. Don’t repress them.  Sit with your feelings. Whole day we tend to bury them with work, that's why they come to us at night haunting.

2.       Addressing the cause

Ask yourself- “ how much of my interpretation is true?”.  Is this the only way to look at the situation? Do I have full information?  Do I have stories of both sides? Are there any solutions? What are other solutions that can be applied?  Can I still solve problems without reacting this way? Is reacting this way worth it in the long term? One thing that helps me the most is asking myself whenever I feel overwhelmed, do I have to react this way or can I still solve the problem without reacting this way? Another thing is searching for the solutions actively and analyzing the situations. I will either search for it or ask people. Other times, I will just feel the emotions. Don’t worry I also do mess up at times. I did so much in the past. I still do now too. But now whenever I ask myself “if I should react”, I get to reiterate my thoughts and feelings and choose. But I still  mess up at times. It’s okay. I am working slowly bettering myself from yesterday.

3.       Taking responsibility

Sometimes what might be taking away our peace is running from our responsibility itself.

  Quoting Victor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” 

You have all the power to choose your response, but not of others. What happens to you is something you cannot always choose but you can choose how you react to it. You have responsibility on how you react to people and how you perform your tasks. Instead of complaining, look for ways you could act. Taking responsibility and actively solving problems helps. Sometimes, we  tend to avoid some responsibilities by fixating on a single problem. We should be conscious and  sort out our priorities throughout the process and not neglect our health and ourselves as well. If it gets overwhelming, relax. You could always look for ways and take responsibility to act upon your emotions. Emotions can be vague too. So, don’t trust them completely.

4.       Setting boundaries

Much of our peace can be obtained from setting boundaries and acting to maintain it. Understand what your values are. What you look up to. What you want yourself to be. What are the behaviors you can or cannot tolerate? What are you willing to compromise?  Once you are sure, you can clearly tell people what you will accept and what you will not. You will not waste time worrying and maintaining your sanity if you get that. We can’t please everyone. We can keep our calm that way.

5.       Taking stand for yourself

Staying calm is often misinterpreted as letting others have power. But it isn’t so. You can still deliver what you want to say in a calm stern tone. That way your message is effectively received and people respect your boundaries. Being calm, also let you think about the situation aside from feeling and let you decide what it is you want to say. Don't let your feelings ruin your delivery. Learn how to say no when you feel uncomfortable. Learn when to speak what is bothering you. No one will know how you feel exactly if you don’t articulate it well. If you don’t do the thinking for yourself, someone else will. Be expressive without disrespecting others. Share your concerns before the situation worsens. Don’t be afraid of confrontations. Speak in terms of how you feel about the situation instead of only blaming other people for doing what you didn’t like. If it gets overwhelming, excuse yourself from the situation. When you have cooled down, then address it. Learn to negotiate and cooperate. If it doesn’t match your values, be willing to walk away too for yourself.   

6.       Be receptive

Never be afraid to learn new things. Have an open mind. Situation can be analysed  from multiple perspectives this way. Most of the time, we are habituated to look at things from our angle only. Talking in terms of science, we tend to think as we often do because we are wired to neuronal connections that are already established. But there are also paths for new neuronal connections too. So, be open to the world, people, their choices, their lifestyles, their opinions. Listen more during the argument.While they are explaining, ask yourself what exactly you are feeling and what it is you want out of the conversation. Listen for other advice too. I also tend to have problems not listening enough.One thing to do is don’t cut off when people are speaking. Empathize more but not enough to be manipulated. And focus on your point without getting diverted. Be receptive, respect others. You can always work on constructive criticism.

7.       Focusing on yourself

When you are working on bettering yourself, you give empowerment to yourself. You can start working towards that goal of yours or learn to improve your skills. It prevents you from focusing on the external environment all the time to make you happy. Personally, I feel at great peace now when I started focusing on what I can do. I started reading books. I started working on myself.To be honest, starting a blog has been on my mind for 9 years. It has been a dream of mine.Now I am writing a blog, I feel my thoughts organized too. It makes me happy that I could help people. In the beginning, I felt afraid of how others will perceive my blog.But now I am already up for it and sharing what  truly helped for me. I am glad I did it. Respecting the reader's views whilst I am writing makes me aware too. I am happy when I am devoting time to my betterment, learning skills, learning to look at things from a different perspective and creating routine for myself while helping others too. Focusing on what we control gives us so much power. In any situation, ask yourself how you can contribute. It’s okay to keep improving ourselves too. Give power to yourself than to people.

8.       Staying away from toxicity

One thing that has helped me recently is I don’t scroll through social media the first thing

 in the morning. I would do my usual morning routine then only give it time. It is true that we give energy to every object we come across. Social media is a good thing that has helped us stay connected. But, we can’t control what it is in social media. Instead you can schedule time for it.This has helped me a lot. Even news too. You can schedule your time for it. It doesn’t mean to turn blind eye to the situation and be happy.  Also, stay away from toxic relations where you aren’t reciprocated that drains you. Wish well for them instead of harboring bad feelings. We can stay away from toxic behaviors of our own like judging unnecessarily, gossiping, comparing. Look up to people instead of thinking of them as a competition.

9.       Never be afraid to ask help

We may not know every solution. Sometimes, we don’t even know why we feel what we are feeling. So sharing with friends and working for solutions greatly helps. Otherwise writing in paper also helps in gaining clarity. You can even google search some of the solutions. Aforementioned, Health is our responsibility. Having good mental health is required for better quality of life. It comes under the definition of what health really means. But, mental illness can happen to anyone. It is never bad to ask for professional help. Professionals are professional for reasons. We shouldn’t be ashamed of taking care of ourselves. Not only asking help but also giving help greatly helps. Helping make us realize the bubble we are living in is such a small space. Life is about giving rather than taking only. Helping lessens our problems as well. Simply like listening to friends, getting in touch with family or your loved ones.

10.    Acceptances

Sometimes, we should accept the situation as it is. We can control our unrealistic expectations that might be hampering us. We can stop trying to control people’s perceptions of us and every outcome of our tasks. Ask yourself- does it have to be this way only? And have patience. 

Acceptance also means accepting that you could make mistakes too. Old people have lived long enough to help us realize that wisdom lies in embracing acceptance and forgiveness. So, apologize when you make mistakes. Don’t ever feel difficult to apologize. We are humans and of course we make mistakes. I too have done so much. At some point, I couldn’t even get a chance to apologize for the mistake being big and already too late to apologize. But it’s okay. I reflect on my mistakes deeply and choose to forgive myself and work actively to avoid making it again. Writing an apology letter might help. Changed behavior is an apology itself. Forgive yourself. Forgive others when they have wronged you. You can still forgive and stay distant too. We might be wrong at times.  We should accept our own shortcomings as well but not let it define ourselves. Don’t be hard on yourself and live with the guilt forever. Do yourself favor forgiving, for not knowing how to act then, and free yourself from pressing yourself. You are only a human. That however doesn’t always justify your actions. Sometimes even with great intentions, you might be causing mistakes just by acting on emotions. As much as other people don’t have power over our reaction, it is the same for them too. Own your mistakes but don’t keep on sabotaging yourself for something you did. Because you can’t change the past. No matter what.We can change only the present. Make amendments too to correct your mistakes.  Give power to present. Take responsibility for how to act from now on. Don’t be hard on other people too. People are because they are. Accept you cannot control everything. You cannot control people’s opinions. And let it go. 

Change your high expectation of yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. You are enough, Don’t feel yourself superior or inferior to anyone. Don’t aim for perfection, work for making progress.

11.   Living fully now

Focus on what is happening right now. Come to present. Take rest, you may be feeling fatigued.Listening to music and meditation will help. I often listen to slow music when I feel things are rushing .Then I take time and decide what I should do. Or turn on my favorite television shows and then come back to solve my problems. Sometimes, I feel emotions as they are. Not taking life seriously also helps for we are alive at this moment only. Let’s treasure our time. Practice self care by looking after your body and maintaining hygiene.

12.   Gratitude

There are always so many things to be thankful for. When we focus only on the problems,

 we tend to ignore little wonderful things that are bestowed upon us.  By only focusing on problems, the problems magnify. Be happy for things that you have in your life, feel proud of yourself, and live.Feel grateful for people who love us and show gratitude towards them. Live fully. Problems are momentary. They come, they go. They do pile up too. Be calm and tackle as they come.You will feel much stronger afterwards. Talking about gratitude, I also want to express my gratitude towards my loved ones who have always been there for me. I feel grateful for receiving so much help,feedback and having time to read while I am working on my blog. I want to express my gratitude to my friend Manasi who have helped me edit this particular blog. To you who is reading this blog,thank you from my heart.

If emotions come time and again, it’s okay. You are living that’s why. I encourage you to

feel your emotions and continue living and seek help when you need it. Be patient, things take time. Put your efforts. It will take time to achieve results too. Adjust your expectations.

 Unrealistic expectations are the root cause of our sorrow.

Don’t push the idea you have to be happy all the time. Social media makes it seem happiness is effortless, everyone is happy and doing great, but it isn’t. People can hide really well. It has become a societal norm to show happiness only too. So, have compassion, we never know how someone is feeling behind the doors. Talking about myself also, it’s not that I have my own life figured out and in a better position than everyone else. What I want to say is it's okay. I wrote what helps me and I do seek out what will further help me. I hope my experience will be of some help.  I humbly want to let you know I don’t know everything. So, I would love to hear your opinions too.  

I hope you like my article 12 ways to stay calm no matter what . Feel free to share in comments what calms you and leave feedback on the post. Let’s build each other. If you like the post, sharing the post will mean a lot to me. I have written similar articles The healing power of being alone and A sense of relief during hard times . Feel free to go through them. Thank you. Stay safe.